Adherence and Compliance

For me, it's hard not to revert back to my old self.  When little annoyances begin to add up, such as having your garbage bin and recycling bin being blown away, it's hard not to start feeling a bit negative.

Indeed, it is hard to get back up from failure but I think it is just as hard to succeed.  I fall complacent and lax when I shouldn't.  The real challenge is in making sure I keep moving forward and grow, no matter what level I am at.  There's no point if I take one step forward but two steps back. (Haha, overused indeed.)

I need to remind myself I'm trying to turn over a new leaf this year.  I was kicking ass before but now I'm regressing.  I must remind myself not to seek unhealthy escapist behaviour and face the challenges life puts forth before me.  But most importantly, when things don't work out well, laugh it off.  Life is unpredictable.  The future could be a nuclear wasteland or at the rate of today's technological innovation, the advent of nanomachines could make the current fields of education, engineering, and medicine obsolete.  All this preparation and planning will be for naught.  So, just be happy in the moment and laugh at the unpredictabilities.  Holding an image of eternal gloom or expecting an ideal perfect future are both equally unhealthy.

It's easy to write all these things down as I have done so in the past.  The hard part is doing them and I know I probably contradicted myself in front of someone who's reading.

So, yes, I got to get back to doing what I was doing - effecting personal change.  The now is what matters and I can't keep procrastinating and avoiding the challenges.  There are so many areas of life I need to improve upon.  And I know there are far too many bridges I've allowed to rust and deteriorate.  I just don't know where to begin until I fix myself.

Right now, losing my recycling bin and garbage bin certainly made living conditions a bit more annoying.  I could start throwing my recyclables into the garbage bags (yes, a perfect act to perform on this day) or I could head out somewhere far without a car and get a blue bin during exam time.  Or I could let them form an overwhelming pile in the kitchen.  Or... none of this crap matters right now and I'll just going back to campus and study with people and music.  People - who are all chasing their own ends just like I am.  Music - something I can drown myself in and brings me peace.

"Don't worry be happy" was a phrase that sounded ignorant and pretentious but I know now that it holds much deeper truths than I realized.