Group Work…
/begin rant
...is most often going to be bad at the undergrad level. Don't do it if given the chance. There is always just that one person who fails in the most epic of ways. Time and time again this has been shown to me. I know the value of teamwork. Don't ruin it by forcing me to work with those happy with a C-average and partying all night. Don't get me wrong; you can have a C-average as long as you have the drive and motivation to do better.
Teamwork in a healthcare professional setting is awesome. You don't have to worry about doctors slacking; they've gone through med school. Hard work is built into their core character and all those years of training are wasted if they slack and fail in their careers. And the interprofessionalism movement, anyone?
Other professional school students? Tuition is so high you don't mess around. Getting in is hard enough. Launching into the career in the real world and maintaining it is even harder.
I have experienced that the only time you have to put up with the hopelessly incompetent is at the undergrad level and below. The chance of you being grouped with a scrub is much higher cause there is just that many more undesirables. Above undergrad, the consequences for being a douche are much more dire and most of the scrubs have been weeded out.
I've carried all I could this year. Now, I'm going to try that much harder to not put myself in these situations. I can't make decisions for other people but I can decide what is best for myself. I'm sorry; I used to be lenient but the system has made me take on a Type A approach in group work now.
/end rant
Thankfully, I will no longer be working with undergrads in this setting. So this could very well be all moot. 
But remember people, they are out there. And they will bring you down in your pursuit of excellence (be it God, academics, or simply planning an event) just by being their sad complacent selves. Do your due diligence and avoid placing yourself in bad situations with a scrub.
4 days.
The Lululemon Bag
One quote on it stood out,
"The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness."
I refuse to take part in this tiring rat race with no meaningful end. I see now it's simply one thing leading to another ad infinitum. Most of the women seem to ask of me to have some really long-term plan and certainty of the future. Or expect to have long-term security through their man. The recent recession has proved otherwise; there is no such thing. To base a relationship on that, well, I am sorry but that is a disaster waiting to happen down the line.
Also, it's that time of year again, where the usual questions about the future are asked. I don't particular enjoy reliving this moment for the second time; but it happens nonetheless. The dislike comes mainly from the subtle expectation to have a detailed answer.
Not having a concrete answer ready and the uncertainty of the future used to scare me but now, not really. From my experience, thinking and planning far into the future has been a futile exercise; things never turn out the way you expect them to. (Think "Reality vs. Expectations" scene in (500) Days of Summer)
I realize now I have let my mind create unrealistic constructs and expectations on where I should be and let my heart turn cold, neglecting a lot of things important in life. Important things that belong in the realm of the heart and not of the overly rational mind. (To quote Jerry Maguire, "No heart!") Id est, I have been doing things with no heart and only cause I thought it was expected of me. Too much ambition and expectations it seems.
So, as I move forward and patiently and sincerely fill out applications with complete disregard to early deadlines, I will do what I feel most comfortable with: going with the flow, letting whatever happen happen, and adapting as necessary. To quote Bruce Lee, "Be like water."
I realize I am no shark after all. But I am no swan yet either. (Up in the Air reference). Nonetheless, I want to be part of the latter - content with living modestly and comfortably with people all around.
"It's just a moment. This time will pass." -U2 - Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of
Umbrella Biotech
Currently working on a separate website called Umbrella Biotech for a course I'm taking. It is hosted over at umbrellabiotech.com. It is going to be lulz.
Edit: All done with the layout and everything. Flash is so fun when things turn out the way you want it to.
Look Me In the Eye
"Look me in the eye. It's okay if you're scared. So am I. But we're scared for different reasons. I'm scared of what I won't become and you're scared of what I could become. Look at me. I won't let myself end where I started. I won't let myself finish where I began. I know what is within me even if you can't see it yet. Look me in the eyes. I have something more important than courage. I have patience.
I will become what I know I am."
-Michael Jordan
Newbies: I'm sorry if I scare you. Don't be so intimidated by what you see in my eyes cause this describes what I am feeling.
I hate the distance - both physically and emotionally. But I have accepted this is my trial, my challenge, and a part of my life where I must find myself and reach a higher level of maturity - a stage of becoming with my next stage just around the corner.
---
I don't know if you or any of my cohort - my generation - will be the one. I don't think it is likely with all the things needed in place before such a long-term commitment will work well. It would be ridiculous to expect any kind of waiting with the hand that has been dealt to me by Him or by fate or by whoever or whatever you like to believe. But I am not the kind that closes doors prematurely and unilaterally. I like to leave things open to any sort of possibility.
Though, for the time being, I apologize if I appear to be a blind and oblivious fool. Or I am "too focused". It's complicated (and maybe it really isn't!). Howeverrrrrrr, I'm beginning to think that "sort of thing" might do me some good. Or not. Who knows? Haha.
Urgency
Without a sense of urgency, I can't seem to be motivated to go "above and beyond" and just do the bare minimum. Though, my "bare minimum" is set pretty high based on what I achieve with so little effort, I can't help but feel guilty at the wasted potential. I know I got it in me but I fall prey too easily on matters that shouldn't matter in the now.
I'm taking a summer course and with my current plans, it's only required of me to just pass. Without the stress of having to attain a high mark, I just find no justification in slaving myself in cubicles and what not in the summer - and that is a good thing since I've been heading home almost every weekend to spend time with friends and family. However, anatomy is something that I will take with me later in life and I must do my best not to "binge and purge" this knowledge.
But I guess I'm just prioritizing because there's something coming up that I absolutely need to go "above and beyond" everyone else and give it my all. And my upcoming time away from Toronto will help minimize distractions. I've been half-assing this thing every time I'm in Toronto with no justifiable excuse and this time I'm taking charge.
On the research front, stem cell research intrigues me more and more each day. Reverse consent in organ donation (opting-OUT instead of the current opting-IN) is one thing but why not just bypass the whole thing and grow whole new organs that are perfect matches? This is far into the future and probably not out of reach for my lifetime with the way things are going now. Since I already did research in cell biology and biochemistry, this has become a likely area of research I'll pursue in my master's.
Cancer research is looking promising too. The best tool we have is not the drugs and medication, it's our immune system. The recent new research of reprogramming "white blood cells" (to keep things simple) to recognize and specifially attack cancer cells looks promising... I hope human trials show the same success and if so, more women can breathe a sigh of relief.
(Yes, it was about breast cancer. When I said I was "running for your mum" during CIBC's Run for the Cure, and when I made sure no one got lost and cheered them on, I wasn't kidding. It's good to see the fundraising from such events producing results.)
On a side note, Scutaro is a base-running genius. What an awesome heads-up play from today's afternoon game. See here:
Stealing second base on a WALK. That's just embarrasing indeed, Phillies defense. I'd put this on my Youtube channel but then the MLB would come and rip me a new one.
